- Smile, it's good for you.

- Never criticize anyone until you walk a mile in their shoes, because then
when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes!

- I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day, and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

- If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet,
what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat?

- Definition of a smile: The cooling system for the head,
the lighting system for the face, and the heating system for the heart.

- If you are rude. irritating, or just plain mean, $20 will be
charged to your account just for putting up with you!

- The only thing I'm consistent at is being inconsistent!

- There are only two things to remember in life: 1. Never tell people everything you know 2.

- There are only three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.

- Start every day by eating one live goldfish... nothing worse can possibly happen to you that day.

- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you!

- To the world you may just be one person, but to one person, you my just be the world.